Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Most writers don't "grow up"!

 A little while ago a writerly friend "complained" on her blog that
some (grown up) people suffer from what she calls a 
never-stopped-being-a-child syndrome.
Now I confess that for all those serious, successful and perfect adults someone who gives in all the things they deny themselves for the sake of being "adult" must be utterly annoying. 
They remind them of what they can't have.
Oh they'll be quick to tell you, that they wouldn't WANT to be that way. They wouldn't want to be caught dead imagining.Well usually what bugs us most is something we want.
Reverse psychology.
Something a grown-up inner child merging on inner teenager shouldn't know.
I even say it out loud.
Especially when I am told to grow up at last!
All my life I tried to follow this "grow up"! 
Trying to fit into drawer and being the way I was expected 
was actually very damaging and in the end brought me down. 
A child once told me most adults are just children behind bars. 
Another called those "real adults" buttoned up people. 
I found both extremely accurate. 
Locked away - from the magic, the fun, the pure joy of living. 
Nowadays I acknowledge that I am the SAME person I was when I was little. My body aged somewhat, but the inside stayed the same. "We" have more experience and yes in certain situations we acknowledge that we should follow certain rules, but in others I won't and I don't give a button if I'm called crazy. I'm not bad at playing adult, but no way I will become what others see in it! I will talk to cats, birds, my characters on the sofa and even my Grandmother and her new friends wherever she is now. I will stop in the middle of the sidewalk to rescue a bug, snail or admire a flower breaking through. And I will laugh when I feel like it. 
As a writer I can be as crazy as I want. 
As a person I choose to be as much child as I feel I need. 
My inner teen demands it. Now.
"So perhaps as long as the energy of your childhood is channeled in a suitable way, then never growing up could only be good for us."
Yes, Anna, it is.
I don't suffer from never-stopped-being-a-child syndrome,
but I really did when I tried to change it.
I'm not good at adult. Thank you Peter Pan.